How to Combat Mom Guilt and Negative Projections of Others [Mother’s Day 2018]
Episode 53 Show Notes
In honor of Mother’s Day (which could very well be any day of the year if you ask me), I am talking about three of the common sources of mom guilt and negative projections that women face. I’m talking about the undue pressures we put on ourselves, what we allow insiders to do put on us and, lastly, what we allow outsiders to do to us as women and moms. I’m also giving you some tools to effectively nip these problems so that they are no longer a part of your life or your story.
This Mother’s Day I want to offer you this gift of peace of mind, permission to walk boldly in your own lane and embrace it as yours. Honor the season that you are in and know that is your season to define as best fits your life.
This weeks episode is one that is relevant 365 days a year, so make sure to share it with some of your favorite women and moms. And, if you’d like to listen to last year’s Open Letter to Moms, you can find Episode 2 here. As for today, let’s get right into this weeks episode!
How to Combat the Things We Do to Ourselves
I have found that so many moms find themselves feeling guilty when they’re working and guilty when they’re not working. There is this undue pressure for perfection that comes from within when, in reality, our children just want to feel safe, provided for, acknowledged and loved. They’re not requiring perfection on our part, just like we love them so deeply despite their, ahem… imperfect ways.
So, in the episode, I go into more detail about how these six things can help you combat the pressure we, as moms, put on ourselves.
1. Honor and respect the season you’re in.
2. Make clear your priorities and values and then build everything around that.
3. Be 100% present wherever you are so that you can give it your all.
4. Don’t over schedule or join team “too much.”
5. Remember why you do what you do. What are your long-term goals? Is what you’re doing today a step toward getting you to where you want to be at age 50, 60, and so on? If not, stop doing it. Plant seeds that will grow fruit you actually want to reap.
6. Be confident in your dreams and plans. No one can knock the wind out of your sails to your detriment when you are rooted in what you believe and why you do what you do.
What we Allow Insiders to Do
This category has to do with comments, projections and unsolicited opinions of those who I call “insiders” meaning people who are close to you– close family and friends. Not everyone understands your pursuits, desires, and priorities and sometimes insiders can inflict upon you with their fears, priorities, doubts, insecurities, and plans.
I go into detail about each of these ways to combat this within the episode:
1. Remember that the opinions and thoughts of others typically says more about them than you.
2. Be wise with whom you share your dreams and goals. You don’t owe anyone a justification of why you do what you do or your priorities.
3. Set boundaries. Are there topics that are off limits to discuss with others? Times of your day that are off limits? Set boundaries and make them crystal clear.
4. Stand firm in who you are.
What we allow Outsiders to Do
Lastly, there are those “outsiders” meaning the world, social media, the general public, anyone who is not an “insider,” who we allow to have influence over us in a detrimental way. Outsiders are people we don’t know, people we may not even look up to, yet we allow them to define what is valuable, important, fashionable or profitable for us. Protecting yourself from this environment should be the easiest as this group has the most distance from us, but with social media and television, it may not always seem as though this group is at a distance.
I go into more detail within the episode, but here are two ways to combat negative projections from this group.
1. Understand that comparing yourself to a stranger or person who only allows you to see carefully curated portions of their life is about as insane as taking a nap on train tracks when the lights are flashing, “oncoming train.” It’s dangerous and there are all kinds of warnings that this will not end well for you.
2. I offer you an invitation to hit the unfollow button or put your phone down. Stay off social platforms that are not beneficial to you. You control what your eyeballs and brain intake. So control it!
- I would love to hear your #1 takeaway from today’s episode! Share with me in the comments or, even better, join me on Instagram @shuntagrant and share with me! I’ll be looking for you!
Hi there! I’m Shunta, I help women entrepreneurs get their business on the other side of busy. I teach them how to execute goals that matter and maximize their time through my signature training program, Peace, Pace, Progress. When I’m not helping women run businesses they love, I’m reading a good book, taking a class at the gym or walking the aisles of Target and TJ Maxx with my daughter Zoe. If you believe that both your business and your life can be filled with joy, come hang out with me here on the Business, Life & Joy podcast.
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